Are You Receiving The Happiness You Should?

Writen by: admin

Feeling happy and satisfied is something all of us yearn for, but the big question is where do we get it. The most common places we look are, something, someplace or someone we come into contact with. We look to these to provide our happiness and satisfaction - but are they the real source?

How do you feel about what is around you in your life? What do you expect people, situations and things to provide to you? So often we make statements like; ‘I don’t get any pleasure from. . . ‘, or ‘it/they no longer gives me what I want’, or ‘it doesn’t satisfy me.’

What are we really saying with this kind of statement and what are we telling ourselves when we say them? This kind of statement reflects a perception that our satisfaction and pleasure is or is not provided by things outside of ourselves. This is not the case, no matter how much you want it to be.

It is however, a very common perception of life - that our emotional happiness is subject to people, places and things. It may be rooted in our general tendency of not wanting to not assume total responsibility for ourselves but rather hope that our happiness and satisfaction will be provided to us. Or just an ignorance of our true capabilities for choosing and doing this ourselves, or most likely a combination of both.

The key is in who or what is creating your pleasure or satisfaction. The answer is you, not anything or anyone else. People’s behavior and things do not come with any specific emotions attached that you must assume. You decide how you interpret what is around you.

You alone decide to be subject to what you perceive about something. Is it a positive or negative for you? It does not come with this label, you attach the label, and then react accordingly based on your own established reactive thinking and behaviors.

For example, if you feel that your spouse or partner is no longer giving you pleasure; this is not really something that they can give you, but rather your perception of them and their behavior. They can’t make you feel or think anything, that is your choice.

So, it is not them, but you who have changed. Your perception of them and or your interpretation of it lead to your current feelings. When you can come to this realization you will understand that you alone have the power and ability to feel happy and satisfied or upset and miserable with what and who is around you.

All that someone or something gives you is an opportunity to perceive, interpret and react based on your personal judgement.

A good clear example would be with owning an automobile. We get one primarily for the service it can provide us with traveling from place to place. And when this is occurring properly, as we see it, all is well and we are happy and satisfied with the car.

However, when a mechanical problem crops up and the vehicle does not operate properly, we tend to get upset - right. Well, does a broken transmission or fuel pump project negative emotions that we must take on? Of course not.

The emotional feelings that we develop are completely of our own making, not vibrations given off by a broken auto part! So, do you allow yourself to get upset by this or can you remain neutral? Either way you need to deal with the mechanical problem, it’s just a matter of how you direct yourself to feel about it.

This applies to all people, places and things - you decide, they don’t provide! It has been stated many times that, your overall happiness in life is based on how you handle and deal with things rather than the thing itself.

Why drag yourself through anger, resentment, disappointment, and frustration over a broken auto part when you can deal with it just the same or easier, while remaining emotionally neutral about it and feel nothing? It’s your choice, but only when you learn that you can make it and you actively do so based on your desired emotional feelings.

The sooner that you stop blaming the way you feel on outside people and things and admit that it is your responsibility and ability, you will realize more happiness in your life. Your personal growth and development is largely based on your paying attention to how you are feeling about things and choosing to make adjustments in ways that better fit with the life you desire.

Just because you have been reacting in certain ways to specific people and things does not mean that you must continue. You can choose a new different ways that feel more enjoyable and with less stress, fear, or anger. It’s up to you to do analysis of your emotional reactions and make any changes you feel would better support the life you want to enjoy day in and day out.
If you don’t get involved in how you feel and why, everything will go on as it has just fine without your input- is that what you want?

Start right now; take a look back at the last time you had some kind of negative feelings about a person, thing or situation. Look at it from the viewpoint that you are deciding how to emotionally react and that you can do it differently if you choose. The more you notice times that you can do it differently and think of a new way, the sooner you will gradually develop the new ways to be your standard.

If you find it difficult to come up with new different ways of looking at things and reacting to them, look at what other people do that you admire. Modeling people who behave in ways that you would like in your life is a powerful way to change quicker than you would trying to figure it all out on your own.

Change is the way of life and your choice - take it and enjoy more happiness and satisfaction.

John Halderman
http://www.articlesbase.com/advice-articles/are-you-receiving-the-happiness-you-should-90910.html

Filed under: Happiness

44 Responses to “Are You Receiving The Happiness You Should?”

anil m, on May 9th, 2009 at 11:32 pm Said:

Does happiness lie more in receiving or giving love?
Harsh...!, on May 10th, 2009 at 4:34 am Said:

both ways… always…
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Inner Peace, on May 10th, 2009 at 4:36 am Said:

Both. It is the dance that creates the beauty. The giving the receiving. Loving and being loved is life itself.
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Princess, on May 10th, 2009 at 4:38 am Said:

You cannot give what you do not have. If you have love, you will be able to give love and you will receive more love and you will be able to give more and the cycle goes on.
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eddieedwards, on May 10th, 2009 at 4:40 am Said:

There isn't one without the other, that is the very nature of love.
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cosmiccoyotie, on May 10th, 2009 at 4:42 am Said:

There must be both, then a circle of energy is formed.
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Niea, on May 10th, 2009 at 4:44 am Said:

Both. Their both positve things.
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miss blaine, on May 10th, 2009 at 4:46 am Said:

i think there has to be a balance between the two.
you can't just take, and you can't just give.
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d_guy, on May 10th, 2009 at 4:48 am Said:

SUCCESS is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get….
i hope u got it
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Brook, on May 10th, 2009 at 4:50 am Said:

if you just receive and don't give, you make your lover unhappy and eventually you will be unhappy and if you give love and don't get any, you will be frustrated. So its has to be both ways.
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indrajeet d, on May 10th, 2009 at 4:52 am Said:

Mothers………….
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ramesh, on May 10th, 2009 at 4:54 am Said:

You should balance both, if you can give , then you should. and you should receive something if it's think it's right for you.
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banjaran, on May 10th, 2009 at 4:56 am Said:

Happiness comes from giving love and getting love… if we try hard to bring happiness to others… we cannot stop it from coming to us also. To get joy… we must give it… and to keep joy… we must scatter it. .
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vannili, on May 10th, 2009 at 4:58 am Said:

Doing love and giving love that is passion. Receiving and giving back love that is happiness.
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vitraux, on May 10th, 2009 at 5:00 am Said:

It must have both…one sided love is sometimes devestating.
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BUFF ., on May 10th, 2009 at 5:02 am Said:

Mu - this question needs 'unasking' because it suggests that the level of happiness derived from love can or should affect how we love and are loved.

love is primary - happiness is a derived abstract concept.

Next time when wrapped in the arms of your lover lost in their eyes ask yourself am I happier from being loved or loving and see my point.
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eletts1980, on May 10th, 2009 at 5:04 am Said:

Actually happiness lies in giving love and not expecting to recieve anything.. Its called as unconditional love. Strange thing is it doesnot even expect love in return. For if expected something in return and the expection is not met is sure to cause some factor of unhappiness and disappointment.
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rona, on May 10th, 2009 at 5:06 am Said:

Peace and blessings be upon you.
Giving and don't wait to recieve.
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All hat, on May 10th, 2009 at 5:08 am Said:

Moot question. Love is like a dance two people do - can't distinguish who is "giving" dance and who is "getting" dance - it is a mutual act. But certainly it is one requirement of happiness. The other is decency of behavior. If we behave badly we can't be happy, which is annoying and intrusive, if you ask me, but - whatcha gonna do.
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Yup_ItsMe, on May 10th, 2009 at 5:10 am Said:

isnt it a balance of both?
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Ashiya, on May 10th, 2009 at 5:12 am Said:

I think there is more happiness in giving love because although its a great feeling to get love, we often times may not appreciate it, like our parents love us but I think most of us take it for granted, or sometimes we may not reciprocate that love back. When we give love its from our heart and in giving love the fact is there that we feel love, when receiving love that feeling may not be mutual.
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roushni, on May 10th, 2009 at 5:14 am Said:

Hi
Happiness lie in giving more than receiving
Give love to younger, give respect to the elders, forgive to the friend if hurt.
Give love to others will make more happy than receive.
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robin_carithers, on May 10th, 2009 at 5:16 am Said:

Defiantly in giving love. I am so rewarded in ways that I can not count. Truly I am blessed. I appreciate receiving love, but do not realize it a lot of the time. It is so much better to give than receive. Your blessings will come back to you 10 fold, per the bible. When you give a lot of the times nobody needs to know who you are. It's not all about me. I will not brag about what I give, because if I do it's an ego trip..hey look what I did??? That is not what giving is all about
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abhinav b, on May 10th, 2009 at 5:18 am Said:

it depends on u infact
it depends that u bcome happy by giving r taking
some people get happy by giving and some not.
u cannot judge of a single individual
it depends on an individual attitude of pple
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jimi4950, on May 10th, 2009 at 5:20 am Said:

Giving love always!
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Phae, on May 10th, 2009 at 5:22 am Said:

Great question. I could not receive love when seeking love was my focus. It was in learning to love & give love that I learned how to receive love. It is true that you can't have one without the other. Someone who cannot receive love can not give it either. For me, I sought but did not find as long as I sought to be loved. It was in seeking to Love that I found how to give & receive both. What is that old saying, To get Love Be Love.
Blessings!
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Rainbow O'Love76, on May 10th, 2009 at 5:24 am Said:

Both, but more in giving. Giving is a surefire way to boost self-esteem.
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PV, on May 10th, 2009 at 5:26 am Said:

Happiness lies in giving. The more you give, the more you get.
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XYZ, on May 10th, 2009 at 5:28 am Said:

both
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crewsaid, on May 10th, 2009 at 5:30 am Said:

Happiness can be maximized by sharing love.
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Champoo, on May 10th, 2009 at 5:32 am Said:

more in giving, less in receiving
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Thimmappa M.S., on May 10th, 2009 at 5:34 am Said:

More in giving, making it total is the best way to receive in abundance! Selfless love is the best form of self fulfilment!
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ulagam, on May 10th, 2009 at 5:36 am Said:

Giving love feels better, for there is no obligation to reciprocate. A receiver on the other hand, though feels elated at the receiving end, might feel the burden of gratitude and unsolicited loyalty.
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kyala c, on May 10th, 2009 at 5:38 am Said:

receiving from your loved ones
giving out to all your fellowmen

it works both ways in two different perspectives.
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small, on May 10th, 2009 at 5:40 am Said:

I understand happiness as a tranquil, contented mind…. love produces either eagerness or anxiety…….. love in my view is not the route to stable and lasting happiness….. it produces moments of bliss as well as of concern, anxiety or pain depending on the relevant events with respect to the relationship.
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Param, on May 10th, 2009 at 5:42 am Said:

For an average normal human being it should be both at the same time to feel the happiness.

Only a few great human beings are capable to giving love selflessly. The happiness of others is their happiness.

As for me, I like to receive as much as I like to give…that's what makes me happy.
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somethingtrinity, on May 10th, 2009 at 5:44 am Said:

Ture happiness is in the giving.
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SS G, on May 10th, 2009 at 5:46 am Said:

To love is divine and supreme. To be loved is happiness.
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KrishanRam(Jitendra k), on May 10th, 2009 at 5:48 am Said:

HARE KRISHNA ,HARE RAMA

Love is not one dimentional , it is like attraction force

those who think that they are recieving love or giving love are not in Love .the feeling of the love is same

HARE KRISHNA ,HARE KRISHNA ,KRISHNA KRISHNA ,HARE HARE,HARE RAMA ,HARE RAMA ,RAMA RAMA .HARE HARE
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amrit, on May 10th, 2009 at 5:50 am Said:

happiness lies in both.recieving and giving love
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nila, on May 10th, 2009 at 5:52 am Said:

Happiness lie more in giving only.You can think your past experiences, whenever you show love to others you won't be expecting them to react like,talking to teddy bear,loving your sport,loving your favourite dress,footwear,food etc,etc,Does any onetime you expected return of love from these things.(only you expect it from animals and people)But you keep on loving these things.So always giving love wins your heart and give more happy and joy to you.
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Carlos S, on May 10th, 2009 at 5:54 am Said:

I would have to say giving, "It is more blessed to give than to receive", but I do agree with both, it's MORE blessed to give.
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Spiritualseeker, on May 10th, 2009 at 5:56 am Said:

Receiving love can only give a sense of gratitude at the best, if a person is really humble and lucky too, to identify that love.
But giving it out unconditionally, gives the giver an unbounded joy!
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Franz Karl, on May 10th, 2009 at 5:58 am Said:

It depends on what kind of person you are?
I like to give….
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